Javert the Spy, V1 B6 C2

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forgiveness, javert, judgment, les miserable

Self-proclaimed spy, Javert holds a high standard for himself without an associated reward. Talk about a rule-keeper! Rule keeping for the sake of order – OCD on justice. Javert is no Pharisee because he is not trying to please God. He is no legalist. Instead, he is driven compulsively to maintain his standard, or not live at all. This is a man I do not know. His standard of justice is tied to the traditional structure of power. The divine right of kings.

Such a strange standard he applies to favor the upper class without regard to their severe action against Fantine, as he favors the position of Mayor over himself.

Like myself, I believe that most people are the opposite, favoring themselves without even noticing. Condemning others and excusing ourselves is human nature. And let this be my lesson from this chapter in respecting Javert’s consistency and honesty.

I feel it hopeless to approach such honesty. Even my honest confessions have taints of dishonest motivations. But what I can do is to give others the same slack that I give to myself. I can stop judging and speaking evil.

The interesting thing is that if I compare my own righteousness to what I condemn in those around me, I would almost always still be found inferior. I am condemning myself with my harsh words or attitudes. My will is so deceitful! One particular ploy that I can use is to compare my “righteous” present self, having refrained from the heinous act in the moment, to the unrighteous present act of another. I discount the reality that at other times in my life (perhaps as far back as 40 years ago as a teen) I committed the same stupid driving violations or demonstrated the same selfish interpersonal behaviors as those that I condemn. And the thoughts in my heart almost always have a constituent that would bring me shame in its exposure – so much so that I would have a difficult time finding a really clean righteous moment of purity to stand on long enough to deliver my verdict on the head of another.

This woeful pattern demonstrates every hour why I need God and the substitution of Christ. His finished work is my very sustenance. I need it every moment. For wretched man that I am in all honesty, thanks be to God who gives me the victory.

Black Vein of Destiny: V1 B6 C1

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donne breast cancer hearing fate

Hugo describes Fantine’s pitiful decline as an inevitable outcome: “in vain we chisel, as best we can, the mysterious block of which our life is made.” But all through his book he still credits individuals with good works that make a difference to others. What do we make of such contradiction.

The recent appearance in our lives of my wife’s breast cancer has made me wonder about inevitability. I believe in Jesus as my Redeemer. And I believe that God is in control of all events past, present and future and will not allow anything to happen to me that is not “for my good.”. I also believe that He is interactive with me in a relationship so that I can exercise influence on events through prayer.

Here is the dialectic dynamic of “work out your salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.” And I cannot explain this apparent contradiction.

But, I know that God has raised me to a new life. I know this from my personal experience with Him directly. My direct experience has opened up my eyes to a view from eternity that is transcendental, being moved by Him within my emotions and mind, and (2) having heard Him speak through words and visions. So I must trust Him.

My mother-in-law has a different sort of extreme view. She believes that we (not God) have control over circumstances of our own lives by our faith and words. She actually shuns deep emotional conversation with her daughter because by bringing herself to say words of reality-based discussion, she feels as if she is losing the battle to have victory in her circumstances. This seems like superstition to me, but there are certainly traces of similar superstitious thinking in my own mind. Have I prayed long and hard enough? Or worse, am I good enough so that my prayer is effectual?

Midas, King of Phrygia in Greek mythology, interacted with the god Dionysius. He wished everything he touched could turn to gold. Dionysius warned him about potential dangers of such a wish, Midas insisted, so Dionysius granted him the wish. Subsequently Midas found himself isolated in his material world.

The isolation of a soul into a material world of health and wealth comforts reminds me of Midas. Perhaps His plan is to extricate us from the busyness and cares of this world? And I am trying to understand the mind of God. Why? So that I can control my own life by my reason. “Reason, your viceroy in me, me should defend, but is captive and proves weak or untrue.”

It is Donne’s cry and mine in these final lines of that sonnet:

Yet dearely I love you, and would be loved fain,
But am betroth’d unto your enemy:
Divorce me, untie, or break that knot again;
Take me to you, imprison me, for I
Except you enthrall me, never shall be free,
Nor ever chaste, except you ravish me.