The art of conversation includes being able to think outside the expected lines of trite word patterns. To make a bold observation and to do it with a friendly overture, not coming off as weird or disconnected, but allowing much room for being misunderstood. See where it takes you!
Lines of thought that push beyond limits. And it does not cut a thought short by a simple answer.
It’s a statement that leads somewhere, but it motivates and invites (without his knowledge) the interlocutor to change the direction. It’s not the direction that’s important, its the motivation.
In William Beausay’s Boys!,
Find a three-story building and tell your son that you are going to climb it on the outside! He’ll look at you, coyly smile and then frown. You don’t have to climb it to be adventurous. Walk up to it, look up its walls and start looking for a toehold.
Some recent questions that I have been wondering about: “Do you think that everyone is judgmental about others?” Another example was when I asked my family: “When was the last time you changed your mind about an important issue? If you haven’t changed your mind in a long time, is that because you have it all right, or is it more likely that you are stubborn?”
It’s the way that I lead at work – with specificity. Seeing that something needs to get done and suggesting that we do it a certain way, giving clear specific steps of execution, but letting others “correct me” and say – “no. we should do it this way.” Yes, the thing gets done with their cooperation and ownership, no matter what the procedure turns out to be, the thing is accomplished. The key is motivation and holding your ideas loosely.
The goal I have is to engage others in the work/conversation and the method is to distinctly and specifically propose a direction.